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Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History.

Will You Be Remembered?

August 19th, 2004

woohoo! @ 03:10 am

Current Mood: accomplished accomplished
Current Music: Beck - Sexx Laws

I have furniture!

i spent tonight moving it around and rearranging and reorganizing everything. i am pretty satisfied with how it turned out although i have half the room i had before now. but it looks much neater and i am happy about that.and my desk doubles as a drafting table,it's pretty nifty.

i must christen this room this year or i might cry.

yeah so leslie had her review today and she did not walk out of the office afterward with the same feeling i did at all. my review took like 10 minutes..hers was like a 1/2 hour. reesha even told me that she had regina do it because reesha isn't good at doing the negative reviews. but seriously, leslie doesn't really do to much. i like her and all but she never leaves the counter and she bombed the product knowledge test.

so we got the jenna jameson book and i was skimming through it and it actually seems like a good read. although considering its long length and my hectic schedule i don't know when i'd get to read it.

but do i need it? i am starting to ask myself that question. i think i am going to put the stuff i have on hold back on friday because i don't need any of it. i should definately think before i buy. i have to fix my compulsiveness.i am going to significantly cut back on frivelous buys(or at least try anyways).

so after friday i don't have to pay rent anymore so i can start apartment saving.

i decided i am going to do my best to not ask for any help from my family this year. i am living on my own, i should be on my own.it's not like my family can really afford it or is even at all dependable anyways but i think there would be less arguements between me and my family if i just don't ask for anything anymore. i'll just let her put payments on the credit card (that it was her idea to have,i wanted to put it into savings). althoug she claims she never said she'd pay it off now. its so strange,my dad has become the reliable one(almost) and my mom is the one i can't seem to depend on now. the roles reversed. although i never fully depended on either of them. i never saw them as decent parents but they have their moments of positivity.but my dad is seriously out shining my mom right now and its almost eerie. and my sister agrees with me about mom for the first time in my lifetime. she is moving to NYC and my mother doesn't want that so she is being unreasonable to renee as she has somewhat always been to me. as strange as it sounds because of this my sister and i have seem to have gotten closer. guess there are positives in every negative.

I'm a black market kid! @ 02:37 am

"So rudeboy, Check it out i'm really tired of you.

you know why?

You think your somethin'
I think you got somethin' to prove"
- The Mimsies

August 17th, 2004

a little death never hurt anyone... @ 12:45 am

Current Mood: cranky cranky
Current Music: The Mimsies - "The Ballad of Nikki Sixx"

i was right... i most definately have been pre-menstrual this week. this realization happened today when i got in from work.which explained why i felt so drained and weary all day. i ate a whole hoagie and still felt light headed.i was wondering why that was. work has been going ok. i've felt more confident lately when it comes to what i am doing. i had my 3 month reveiw today. reesha said i am doing good but i need to work on being more sure of things. she says i know my stuff i just need to be more confident about it. i also need to be told things twice sometimes and need to not be told to take the trash out,oh yeah and i need to jump on transfers faster. she said she has seen an improvement in my insentive even this week and that i improve a little bit every week. i know i still have my rough edges but i think most of them should be smoothed out by the 6 month reveiw.hopefully, anyways. and learning to be more confident in myself is something that i should work on in my everyday life as well.

on another work related note, me and pete have become much more communicative at work within the past week. i think since that night we hung out at jason's. and i think we've found a bond in our bloodsugar disorders. it's weird,but i most definately don't mind it.

i am very much ok with it,lol.

so class starts in 1 week and 1 day. how insane is that? i am going to attempt to be full time at the mood but if i get to overwhelmed reesha said i can get less hours. but for now i am going to see how long i last before i keel over and die. who wants to time how long it will be until i run myself into the ground?bets anyone?

i have to wake up at like 8am to be at work at 10. i am working with one of the creepy higher ups. i hate working with him. he's so...well... creepy!

so i found out that there is a train at 30th street station that goes straight to NYC. so i can go visit my sister and vice versa. and she said that since my mom is being dumb and cause i have no food she might be able to give me like 20$ tommorow. i just have to call her tommorow morning with my account number.hopefully, she can because i have to get betty crickets. we both have to eat,lol.

i have rediscovered my Mimsies CD only to discover that their website is gone and so are they. this saddens me because they were so talented.and they were so awesomely high energy when i saw them. you never expect that from the teeny tiny stage at warped tour.but i want lyrics and i can't find them anywhere.

i have to go get my laundry and then i should probably get to bed. i actually feel tired now.how strange is that?lol

August 14th, 2004

finally! @ 12:06 pm

Current Music: Lofidelity Allstars - Battleflag (uncensored)

i finally got a fridge this morning at 10:30.after asking for 3 days straight.and friday i'll have all of my furniture,which is a plus. i justam going to have to figure out how to set it up or even if i have room for them.i have a pretty good rough idea of where everything is going to go as long as the furniture is the size i beleive it is. here's hoping,i guess.

work was frustrationg yesterday because it was full of just some really really dumb people asking really really dumb questions.and then there was this one woman who was in the store way past closing, we think she was hyped up on something.but we got out super late because of her.

i got the most random question so far working at this job, yesterday.this woman asked me why she can't have an orgasm and then started telling me her sexual history and she asked me if she should see a doctor and if something was wrong with her. i told her to talk to her boyfriend about it,in so many words.

so last night me and pete hung out at jason's. the odd thing is that jason wasn't there. jason is in florida for a week. but we were so tired from the crazy work day that we just sat there for hours and talked about the most random shit. he added pot to his doing nothingness. i just sat there. but it was kinda cool in a "hey i like doing nothing" sort of way.

August 13th, 2004

(no subject) @ 12:43 pm

well everything is moved in and organized. all i need is my desk and dresser. and i was supposed to get my fridge yesterday and then they told me first thing this morning,but do i have one yet? no, i do not! i have to charge over there now and cross my fingers that someone is at the door of the dorm because my ID disappeared in the moving process.it's completely vanished.i searched pretty much every inch of the room.it sucks,i really could've used that ten dollars on something much better,like food.

me and kristy have spent the past few days either doing stuff involving my room, like moving and organizing or we've done nothing. that was fine too,lol. although we did take kristy to get her paycheck at PAFA. and then went to eat thai food at reading terminal market. it was quite good. so then we wondered around more.

and since there is a pool table downstairs i have been practicing,lol. i'm still not good but i'm better than i was. who wants to come over and play? and anyone who knows me well knows about my affliction for a cute boy bent over a pool table to take his shot. hehehe . its so0o0o0o0o hot. i need invite cute boys over to play pool,lol.

ok time to go shower

August 10th, 2004

(no subject) @ 04:08 pm

Current Mood: lethargic lethargic
Current Music: Everclear - Unemployed Boyfriend

waterby Jason Mraz
The eye of the storm meets the eye of the mind sending it spinning
Spinning not knowing which way is up not knowing which way to go
The eye of the mind blushes in lust of all the answers for years of tears, years in fear...

Oh the bitter water; satiated, covered in salt
Keeping me afloat, moving me along
And I can see everything. I can see thru buildings...
All the shattered lives and the battered wives...
And everybody's hypnotized by the dancing light
TV sets making everybody go blind.

And I can see thru you.
And when I look inside I know...

That you are living in a fantasy world taking your time, running your mind on low
And you are living in a fantasy land holding nobody's hand but your own
I said, "I can see everything"

One drop of rain that's me and all the rest is you
Who shook these trees? Let me guess did they come in two's?
When you're dealing with the fruits of the universe
You shake that apple tree, life deals you an orange, either way you're cursed

Oh the bitter water, satiated, covered in salt
Keeping me afloat, and always moving me along

It's keeping me on top of the water
Keeping me on top of the world
Keeping me on top I'm looking out

just to see what everything is all about

and I know where it is... just don't know exactly what it is...

all this have to dodge all my stuff top get 2 feet away is getting quite irritating.i can't wait til i have a room and can put everything away and sort it and such. i'm looking forward to organizing my room,lol, i'm such a nerd.i'm just getting sick of living out of a box. the thing is that i am working 2 to 9 tommorow. so when is everyone supposed to help me move? they arn't going to do it at night are they? i'll either have to hope they help me at night or wake up really early in the morning and try and do it before i have to leave for work at 1.

i have this terrible knot in my back. i need a massage like you wouldn't believe.

i am waiting for my dad to put money in my account so i can go food shopping and i also have to get over to the other building to pay my rent. i can't seem to will myself out of this box right now,lol
i'm dressed and everything ,i don't know why i can't. just to lazy,maybe?

ok just made plans ...sorta,lol.

(no subject) @ 03:48 am

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Gorrilaz - 19-2000

"downfall" by matchbox 20

Wonder how you sleep
I wonder what you think of me
If I could go back
Would you have ever been with me
I want you to be unused
I want you to remember
I want you to believe in me
I want you on my side

Come on and lay it down
I've always been with you
Here and now
Give all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall
mmm, mmm, mmm

Here we go again
Ashamed of being broken in
We're getting off track
I wanna get you back again
I want you to trouble me
I wanted you turning down
I want you to agree with me
I want so much so bad

Come on and lay it down
I've always been with you
Here and now
Give all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall
mmm, mmm, mmm

Yeah, be my savior
(Only love can save us now)
(Don't lay me down)
(Only love can save us now)
I'll be your downfall (I'll be your downfall)
(Ah, love can save us now)
(Don't save me now)

Lay it down
I've always been with you
Hear me now
With all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall
mmm, mmm, mmm

Now I'm back on my own
Hear my feet, they're made of stone
Man, I make you go where I go
Well hell, you, can I take you home
Well, I'm coming home on my back
Kissing me, your lips painted black
Saying Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Let me be your downfall
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Let me be your downfall, baby

"wake up" by alanis morissette

You like snow but only if it's warm
You like rain but only if it's dry
No sentimental value to the rose that fell on your floor
No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for

'Cause it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you

You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much
You sit... and you wait... to receive
There's an obvious attraction
To the path of least resistance in your life
There's an obvious aversion no amount of my insistence
could make you try tonight

'Cause it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you to you to you to you to you...
There's no love no money no thrill anymore

There's an apprehensive naked little trembling boy
With his head in his hands
There's an underestimated and impatient little girl
Raising her hand

But it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you, to you

get up get up get up off of it
get up get up get up off of it
get out get outta here enough already
get up get up get up off of it

Wake up

(no subject) @ 02:53 am

How long do I last in bed?
by DesideroAmor
Real Name
Birthdate (MM/DD/YY)
Favorite Color
Quiz created with MemeGen!

August 9th, 2004

i hate moving....it can never go peacefully. @ 02:13 am

Current Mood: drained drained
Current Music: The Cure - Young Americans

today has been so painfully draining and stressfull but thank you to everyone that helped me today. you made it more bareable(sp).

so i was almost last for my meeting and ended up having to dish out 6 dollars to go to a meeting where i don't think anything of real solid value was said. everything reesha said we had to do, i already do.so therefore it was pointless. and then there's the whole moving fiasco. apparently no one was informed that the second floor lacked furniture of any kind and did not know that that is where i am residing. so i am all packed and i go in with my first load of stuff and come to a completely barren room. so what i ended up doing was recruiting kristy, her friend jeff, and craig to help me pack up and move all of my belongings into a commuter hotel room until wednesday when my bed will arrive. there would have been more but the truck with the rest of the furniture got into an accident and so i have to wait longer for that stuff. but at least i'll have something on wednesday. although i just remembered i am working 2-9,so i have no idea when i am actually going to have the res life people help me move in.so i could either do it really early or really late. guess we'll find out wednesday. so after moving a large amount of stuff into a tiny space and me wanting to break into tears and kill someone ,my mom arrives. today was her birthday so we were going out to dinner. there was an arguement before hand and it was all just very painful. she wants straight answers out of me about things like "how long" and "when" but she can never ever give me those answers when i ask her, so i am supposed to have these answers,apparently. and my brother was just a giant walking annoyance (as per usual). to think for once that my sister being there would have actually been a saving grace.that seems strange for some reason. but anyways, went and had dinner with a family friend. my mom and then spent the whole time playing catch up, my brother kept up his annoyingness,and my step dad and my mom's friend husband just talked. so i just kind of sat there eating my food counting the uneventful moments until i was back in philly. i don't remember the exact number but it seemed like an eternity.but anyways, while i was wandering around this restaurant parking lot by myself still counting craig called to verify plans for later. this killed a few moments which is good because i didn't think about how much i didn't want to be there for a moment. shortly after this we finally set off to leave and i had a headache from my brothers' irritating habits. i got a phone call from ashley during the car ride but it was so staticy that i couldn't understand anything she was saying. i just figured i'd look for her when i got back( i did but i couldn't find her :*( ). so yeah i finally got back and had to wait forever for my brother to use the bathroom and then i finally said good bye to the family and got a cart and gave craig a call. i needed to move betty. i've still got some stuff in the other room but i am going to get that tommorow and when i go back to clean.i don't have to much room for it right now,anyways. so we move betty and some other small things and then i spent the rest of the evening watching tv at craig's. doing nothing was seriously so great. i had never been so happy to be unproductive in the longest time.

but i am more drained ,both mentally and physically, than i have ever been in so long. i feel like i have absolutely no energy.

and to top it off i am opening tommorow so i have wake up quite a bit early,which means i should be sleeping right now.

but again... Thank you to all who helped me today. you guys helped keep me sane. i don't know what i would have done if i had to do all that alone.

August 6th, 2004

(no subject) @ 02:52 am

What will God say to you when you die?
You will say: Hey dude! what's with all the ugly chicks?
He will say: Oh no you ain't gettin in here!
How much do you deserve to be in heaven? - 66%
This Quiz by megalomein - Taken 47576 Times.
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Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History.

Will You Be Remembered?